Nicola Millington on Protecting Your Peace Online with “SWIPE”

The internet has been a game-changer for people and businesses around the world. It has opened doors, created connections, and sparked countless opportunities. But with every blessing comes a challenge, and in the digital space, that often means facing negativity in the form of cyberbullying, online trolling and relentless criticism that can take a toll on mental wellbeing.

For a long time, the fear of online criticism and the vulnerability that comes with putting myself out there held me back. I second-guessed every post, worried about being misunderstood or picked apart, and often chose not to post. Like so many others, I wanted to show up, but not at the cost of my peace.

Nicola Millington, Founder of FP Comms, Marketing With Love Digital, and The PR Club, understands this struggle deeply. With years of experience navigating the public eye both for herself and on behalf of her clients as a seasoned PR practitioner, she’s now channelled that knowledge into her debut book, “SWIPE: Mastering the Art of Handling Trolls and Protecting Your Peace”. 

In this timely release, Nicola offers practical strategies, hard-earned wisdom and empowering advice for anyone looking to reclaim their voice online without sacrificing their mental health.

“The fear of backlash is not irrational, it’s a rational response to a digital landscape where visibility and vulnerability often collide. But here’s the counterintuitive truth: the risks of silence often outweigh the risks of scrutiny.”

What inspired you to write SWIPE: Mastering the Art of Handling Trolls and Protecting Your Peace, and why is this book particularly timely in today’s digital climate?

Having worked in PR for over 20 years, I have developed a knack for handling digital spaces. For me, the inspiration behind SWIPE stems from a pressing need to address the escalating toxicity in digital spaces, a phenomenon that has become both pervasive and profoundly damaging to mental well-being. 

In an era where online interactions often replace face-to-face discourse, the anonymity of the internet has emboldened trolls, turning social platforms into battlegrounds rather than sanctuaries for dialogue. 

This book is timely because the digital climate is at a critical juncture. Cyber harassment, misinformation and the weaponisation of social media are no longer fringe issues, they shape public opinion, mental health and even political landscapes. 

SWIPE doesn’t just dissect the problem; it offers a strategic, informed framework for reclaiming agency. By blending lived examples with actionable insights, we equip readers to navigate hostility without sacrificing their peace or their voice. The feedback has also confirmed my suspicions.

You’ve worked in public relations for over 20 years and supported more than 800 businesses. How did your journey in PR shape the writing of SWIPE?

My journey in PR, spanning two decades and over 800 businesses, has been a masterclass in the duality of digital visibility: the power to amplify, and the peril of exposure. SWIPE is, in many ways, the culmination of lessons learned in the trenches of reputation management, where I’ve witnessed firsthand how unchecked online vitriol can derail brands, individuals, and even community institutions like Redbridge Sports and Leisure or the Notting Hill Carnival.

Working with such diverse clients, from emerging brands to global entities, has revealed universal truths about digital hostility. Trolls don’t discriminate; they target corporations, grassroots movements, and personal brands with equal fervour. 

At Redbridge Sports and Leisure, for example, I saw how individuals would target talent and engage in hostile commentary. Similarly, managing communications for cultural pillars underscored how misinformation spreads faster than fact, demanding pre-emptive narrative control.

These experiences crystallised the philosophy behind SWIPE: resilience isn’t about silencing critics, but about curating your digital ecosystem with intention. The book distils my fieldwork into a framework that’s equal parts psychological armoury and tactical playbook because in today’s landscape, protecting your peace is the ultimate competitive advantage.

Your book SWIPE offers a structured approach to managing online negativity. Could you elaborate on the ‘SWIPE method’ and how it empowers individuals to respond strategically rather than emotionally?

The SWIPE method is a deliberate framework designed to transform reactive impulses into measured, sovereign choices. It recognises that digital conflict isn’t merely about words on a screen; it’s about the emotional labour, cognitive toll, and power dynamics underpinning them. 

By dissecting each step, we equip readers (including parents of young creators navigating these waters) with tools to reclaim agency in an ecosystem often engineered to provoke

Let’s unpack its strategic potency:

• S – Stop and breathe
  Neuroscience reveals that online hostility triggers the same primal fight-or-flight response as physical threats. This pause isn’t passive; it’s a cognitive reset, disrupting the troll’s desired script. For parents, modelling this restraint teaches young creators emotional regulation in an age where viral outrage is currency.
• W – Weigh up whether it’s worth it
  Here, I introduce the “energy ROI” principle: every engagement demands emotional expenditure. Is the potential outcome worth depleting your reserves? This step is particularly vital for emerging brands and Gen Z creators, who often conflate visibility with validation
• I – Investigate
  Drawing from crisis communications protocols, we teach readers to triage intent. Is the comment a misguided critique (opportunity for education) or malicious bait (signal to disengage)? Case studies from our work with past clients and lived experiences demonstrate how institutional accounts often face orchestrated brigading, requiring forensic discernment
• P – Protect your peace
  This isn’t a retreat, it’s about curation. Tools like mute/block function as digital boundaries, a concept we extend to parents safeguarding teens’ mental health. The chapter includes guidance for young creators, emphasising that safety isn’t surrender
• E – Educate or exit
  The final step embraces strategic selectivity. Educate only when the audience is receptive (e.g., correcting misinformation at legacy clients. Exit when the cost outweighs the impact, a tactic elite PR teams use to starve the toxicity of oxygen

SWIPE transcends platitudes about “thick skin.” It’s a negotiation of power, teaching readers to depersonalise attacks while retaining their voice. For parents, it’s a manifesto for raising digitally resilient teens; for brands, a playbook for integrity in the face of chaos. The method’s brilliance lies in its duality: a shield for the individual, a scalpel for the strategist.

In SWIPE, you present nine real-life case studies addressing common trolling scenarios. How did you select these cases, and what key lessons do they impart to readers?

The nine case studies in SWIPE were curated to reflect the range of toxicity I’ve observed across two decades of digital reputation management, from time-wasting provocateurs to coordinated reputation assaults steeped in isms (sexism, racism, ageism). 

Each scenario was selected not just for its instructive value, but for its ability to expose the underlying systems that enable such behaviour to thrive.

These cases reveal an uncomfortable reality: trolling is rarely random. It’s a power transaction, one that SWIPE teaches readers to disrupt through awareness and strategic non-participation. The greatest takeaway? Control isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about rewriting the rules of engagement altogether.

The book also explores UK legal protections against online harassment. What should individuals and businesses know about these protections, and how can they leverage them effectively?  

The UK’s legal framework for online harassment is both a shield and a maze, constantly evolving, yet often underutilised due to misconceptions about its scope. 

SWIPE demystifies this landscape with guidance from a legal expert, emphasising that protection begins with awareness. 

You emphasise mental resilience techniques throughout SWIPE. Could you share a few strategies that are particularly effective in maintaining peace amidst digital hostility?

In SWIPE, I treat mental resilience not as armour to endure hostility, but as conscious architecture, a way to design an online existence where peace isn’t left to chance. Here are three of the twelve potent strategies from the book, each chosen for its ability to disrupt the troll’s power dynamic while centering your autonomy.

1. The most radical act in the digital age is often refusing to perform. Trolls feed on engagement, whether outrage, debate or even well-intentioned correction. By ignoring and blocking, you accomplish two things: Sometimes you have to starve the algorithm.  No response often means no amplification. 

What trolls crave most is visibility; denying them this renders their efforts obsolete. Blocking isn’t avoidance, it’s curation. Just as you wouldn’t tolerate a heckler in your living room, your digital space deserves the same respect.

2. Trolling preys on our negativity bias, the brain’s tendency to fixate on threats. The reframe and redirect tactic is neuroscience meets street-smarts: Ask yourself, “Would I take life advice from this person?” If not, their critique holds no weight.

Physically shift your environment. Close the app, pick up a book, or practice a “5-minute pivot” (e.g., listing three recent wins).  Trust me this is not toxic positivity; it’s cognitive sovereignty. For parents of young creators, teaching this skill is crucial.

3. Listening to the dawn chorus; of all the strategies, this is the most poetic, and biologically potent. The dawn chorus (birdsong at daybreak) offers a masterclass in resilience.  Studies show natural sounds lower cortisol levels faster than white noise or silence. It’s also a reminder that the online world is a subplot, not the main narrative

These strategies share a common thread: they transfer agency back to you. Whether it’s the blunt force of a block button, the quiet defiance of reframing, or the primal solace of birdsong, SWIPE positions peace not as passive, but as an intentional, daily practice.

“Blocking isn’t avoidance, it’s curation. Just as you wouldn’t tolerate a heckler in your living room, your digital space deserves the same respect.”

As the founder of FP Comms, how do the principles in SWIPE align with your approach to PR, especially when building reputations and dealing with crisis communications?

At the heart of SWIPE lies the same philosophy that defines FP Comms’ “Marketing with Love” ethos: True influence cannot be built on visibility alone, it requires intention, integrity, and an unshakable commitment to protecting your peace as you navigate the digital and media landscape.

Just as “Marketing with Love” treats PR as a holistic exchange, balancing strategy with soul, SWIPE reframes reputation management as energy stewardship.

With my PR hat on, FP Comms advises clients that not every critic deserves a response; in SWIPE, we teach readers to discern between noise and necessary engagement.

“Marketing with Love” recognises that crises are won or lost in the emotional subtext.  For personal brands, we often apply the reframe and redirect tactic: one client-facing sexist remarks, repurposed the hostility into a teachable moment about claiming your rightful credit

Holistic marketing understands that clarity is kindness. SWIPE extends this to self-protection.  Just as we advise brands to pre-empt trolls with community guidelines (e.g., Redbridge Sports and Leisure as an example), the book teaches individuals to pre-set boundaries, like muting keywords or scheduling “digital downtime” hours. 

“Marketing with Love” isn’t naivety, it’s the ultimate power move. SWIPE embodies this by: Depersonalising attacks (trolls target personas, not people), redirecting energy to fertile soil (like FP Comms’ focus on nurturing audiences over fighting detractors), and viewing peace as a competitive edge (because centered voices cut through chaos)

In essence, SWIPE is the self-defence manual for an era where your reputation is both currency and collateral, and like all FP Comms work, it proves that the most potent response to hostility isn’t fury, but unassailable clarity.

Given your role as Director of Communications for the UK Black Business Entrepreneurs Conference, how do you advise entrepreneurs, particularly from underrepresented communities to handle online negativity while growing their visibility?

Amira’s story (Case Study 8) is emblematic of the dual burden carried by underrepresented entrepreneurs: the labour of building a business and the emotional tax of defending your right to occupy space. 

The UK Black Business Entrepreneurs Conference hinges on a non-negotiable truth: Visibility should not come at the cost of your dignity.  However, knowledge about PR is not a regular norm for many small and emerging businesses, so it is with this knowledge we provide intricate guidance.  

Additionally, I knew that I had to share my experience that PR is not just a requirement for big businesses, politicians and famous people.  PR is for all business owners and personal brands. This is why SWIPE reframes trolling as proof of impact; the louder the backlash, the closer you are to breaking barriers. Our mantra? “They want you to fight in the comments; make them watch you win in the market.”

With so many people building personal brands online, what advice would you give to those who fear backlash or are hesitant to show up publicly on digital platforms?

The fear of backlash is not irrational, it’s a rational response to a digital landscape where visibility and vulnerability often collide. But here’s the counterintuitive truth: the risks of silence often outweigh the risks of scrutiny. This is why I anchored my advice in real-world case studies from SWIPE that reframe hesitation:

• Case Study 1: Dealing with attempts to shame you into responding
  
• Case Study 2: Managing baseless criticism and “keyboard warriors” in comment sections
  
• Case Study 3: Handling personal attacks
  
• Case Study 5: Responding to public misrepresentation
  
• Case Study 6: Navigating sarcastic comments
  
• Case Study 7: Managing trolls in professional spaces

“SWIPE transcends platitudes about ‘thick skin.’ It’s a negotiation of power, teaching readers to depersonalise attacks while retaining their voice.”

Looking ahead, what impact do you hope SWIPE will have, not just on readers, but on how we approach digital well-being, brand protection and the culture of online interactions?

SWIPE was never conceived as just a book; I saw it as a tool. My ambition is to catalyse a shift in how we collectively navigate digital spaces, transforming them from battlegrounds into safe spaces of purposeful engagement. Here’s the impact I envision:

• A parenting toolkit, helping parents to support their children in wielding discernment (the “I” in SWIPE) against online predators, just as they’d avoid strangers offline.

• A cultural bridge, I have high hopes for multilingual editions, ensuring that immigrant families, often targeted with xenophobic trolling, can access these defences in their mother tongues

• SWIPE challenges the notion that “thick skin” is the solution to online toxicity. Instead, we propose platform accountability. By teaching users to report strategically (e.g., flagging racist trolls under “hate speech” vs. “spam” for faster removal), we pressure tech giants to improve enforcement

• The book’s case studies (like Case Study 3 boundary-setting) seed a new PR paradigm which includes pre-emptive peace-building.  Maybe brands will adopt SWIPE clauses in social media policies, mandating team “mental audits” before responding to provocation

• The rise of “Well-Being PR”, which helps to protect community mental health is reputation management

• Expect more CSR initiatives funding digital literacy workshops

The print copy of the debut book can be pre-ordered now here and will be released on 12th May 2025.